Shame, a painful emotion rooted in feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, can cast a long shadow over our sexual lives if it gets entangled in sexuality. It not only is deeply uncomfortable, impacting the sense of self, but can have a negative influence on intimate relationships.
Sexual shame comes from a number of places, including early negative experiences. There are some common indicators that indicate it is present, here are a few:
- You feel sexually shut down, inhibited or avoidant in intimate relationships.
- You feel sexually dissatisfied, not in touch with the sexual energy that contributes to arousal, excitement and orgasm.
- You consistently over-focus on your partner’s satisfaction in lieu of your own.
- You avoid being naked, preferring lights out during sex or generally try to cover yourself.
Overcoming sexual shame is a journey that requires self-compassion and sometimes family of origin work to help untangle the roots. Deeply held belief systems about self and sexuality probably can benefit from a closer look. I help people identify, understand and work through this issue, that often hides in the shadows, and can be uncomfortable to discuss with even friends.
Outside of Marin but in California? Check out my California Online Therapy services.
Not quite ready for therapy but would like feedback and guidance by me? See my online chat Ask Lisa Consultation service on LoveAndLifeToolbox.com.
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Contact Lisa to ask about scheduling an appointment.
