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Relationship Minute: Bring back the spark by changing your routine.

I see many couples who are in a rut.  They are buried by the chaos of life, family, work, social obligations, kids, school sports and taking care of the dog  (or cat, or goldfish).  The bottom line is that many of us are struggling with monotony and expected routines.  As important as structure is to keep the cogs in the wheel moving, this can lead to relationship “blahs” for the couple.

This is what you can do:  Consider doing something totally different with your partner.  Look through the “deals” we all get online for a new adventure or plan a date afternoon exploring a new neighborhood in San Francisco.  If you have kids (and a place they can be for the night), plan a picnic at home and spread out on the floor of your living room or in the yard if you have one.  Whatever you do, just mix it up.  Inject new experiences and joy into your relationship.

The latest in neuroscience tell us that having new, positive and unique experiences with your partner will help shift away from any negativity bias that may be occurring between you.  If there are other issues at hand that may require more than just a change of routine, I help couples reconnect and strengthen their relationship foundation.

My private practice is located in downtown Larkspur, Marin County, CA.