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Relationship Minute: Bring back the spark by changing your routine.

I see many couples who are in a rut.  They are buried by the chaos of life, family, work, social obligations, kids, school sports and taking care of the dog  (or cat, or goldfish).  The bottom line is that many of us are struggling with monotony and expected routines.  As important as structure is to keep the cogs in the wheel moving, this can lead to relationship “blahs” for the couple.

This is what you can do:  Consider doing something totally different with your partner.  Look through the “deals” we all get online for a new adventure or plan a date afternoon exploring a new neighborhood in San Francisco.  If you have kids (and a place they can be for the night), plan a picnic at home and spread out on the floor of your living room or in the yard if you have one.  Whatever you do, just mix it up.  Inject new experiences and joy into your relationship.

The latest in neuroscience tell us that having new, positive and unique experiences with your partner will help shift away from any negativity bias that may be occurring between you.  If there are other issues at hand that may require more than just a change of routine, I help couples reconnect and strengthen their relationship foundation.

My private practice is located in downtown Larkspur, Marin County, CA.

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Jennine Estes profile picture
Jennine Estes
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I’ve had the pleasure of working with Lisa Kift for many years, both in previous clinics and with mutual clients. Lisa is a deeply knowledgeable and skilled therapist who brings insight, empathy, and clarity to her work. She has a strong focus on family-of-origin dynamics and how early experiences shape current relational and emotional patterns. Lisa is an active and engaged clinician—she doesn’t just sit back, but thoughtfully guides her clients through the healing process. I highly recommend working with Lisa at Marin Therapy and Counseling. She is a trusted colleague and a true asset to the field.
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Heather Trimble profile picture
Heather Trimble
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I am a strong believer in therapy and have worked with many therapists for over 20 years but Lisa is by far the best. After working with Lisa for the past 5 years, she has been there for me through some of my highest highs and lowest lows. She helps me take a step back and think about situations or problems with a different lens. She has always supported a cadence that worked best for me, starting with once a week and winding down to once a month. I am so thankful to have found Lisa and would recommend her to anyone!

Lisa Brookes Kift is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #45087
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