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Relationship Minute: Don’t forget to “spring clean” your relationship.

Marriages and relationships can sometimes drift off to sleep.  This can happen when things start to get taken for granted, partners stop prioritizing each other and showing appreciation. Relationship Minute  I think the concept of spring cleaning can apply here too as just like your closets, windows or children’s toy boxes need periodic attention, your relationship garden needs care too.

Here are a few things you can do: 

  • Get back to checking in.  At one time you likely talked a lot, especially in the early stages of your relationship.  As time goes on and life gets peppered with kid related responsibilities, family, social obligations and work, it’s easy to let the communication between you and your spouse get tossed out the window.  Re-prioritize a daily relationship check-in, even if brief.
  • Look under the carpet for hidden resentments.  One problem I often see in my practice is the build-up of negative emotions towards each other.  If anger, disappointment or sadness go unchecked they can become toxic.  Resentment can undermine the very fabric of the relationship.  If there is something bothering you, bring it up.  It’s useful to begin with “I statements” rather than using attacking language.

There are other ways couples can dust off the cobwebs in their relationship.  Sometimes it’s nothing more than a tuneup if your relationship foundation is inherently strong.  If you could use additional help, my private practice is located in downtown Larkspur, Marin County, CA.