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Relationship Minute: Identify your wounds

Your relationship vulnerabilities have a tendency to be a reflection of prior experiences that were wired into your brain as either strengths or vulnerabilities.  These wounds can be healed and your brain rewired (great news) but the first step is to be clear about what your issues are.  Ideally, they have an idea of the wounds they carry too.

A loving and sensitive relationship makes space for compassion around each other’s vulnerabilities.  It also makes space for working together to heal each other’s wounds with awareness and sensitivity.

Ways emotional wounds show up in relationships:

  • Tendency to attract and be attracted to partners who are emotionally unavailable.
  • Fear of getting too close in relationships.
  • Tendency to be easily disappointed by your partner or have expectations that are too high.
  • Fear of abandonment or unrealistic ideas of how much time should be spent together (relationship balance)

If you are in a relationship where one of the above comes up or struggle to find/maintain healthy relationships, I can help you understand what you might be bringing to the table from your family of origin how to be more emotionally available.  

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Jennine Estes profile picture
Jennine Estes
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I’ve had the pleasure of working with Lisa Kift for many years, both in previous clinics and with mutual clients. Lisa is a deeply knowledgeable and skilled therapist who brings insight, empathy, and clarity to her work. She has a strong focus on family-of-origin dynamics and how early experiences shape current relational and emotional patterns. Lisa is an active and engaged clinician—she doesn’t just sit back, but thoughtfully guides her clients through the healing process. I highly recommend working with Lisa at Marin Therapy and Counseling. She is a trusted colleague and a true asset to the field.
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Heather Trimble profile picture
Heather Trimble
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I am a strong believer in therapy and have worked with many therapists for over 20 years but Lisa is by far the best. After working with Lisa for the past 5 years, she has been there for me through some of my highest highs and lowest lows. She helps me take a step back and think about situations or problems with a different lens. She has always supported a cadence that worked best for me, starting with once a week and winding down to once a month. I am so thankful to have found Lisa and would recommend her to anyone!

Lisa Brookes Kift is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #45087
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