Many people mistakenly believe that if they just shove their feelings into a box, they will go away and never bother them again. As logical this may seem on the surface, it’s simply not true. Burying feelings may feel productive but they are still there and have a way of revealing themselves. They can lead to resentment towards a partner that show up as anger at unrelated issues, poor self-esteem showing up in self-destructive behavior, general sense of unhappiness, dim view of the future…and on and on…
If you allow yourself to experience the feelings and then actually process through them (as painful as that can be), you will greatly increase the odds of being free from the binds of stored negative feelings.
This is what you can do: Talk about it. A great place to start is with a trusted friend or relative. Write about it. Keep a journal of your feelings and anything related. If there is prior trauma (emotional or psychological) and it seems too overwhelming – or you don’t have anyone in your life who you feel will be compassionate and sensitive to you, consider a therapist.
If you need additional therapy support, my office is in downtown Larkspur, Marin County.