If you are frustrated because your marriage or relationship isn’t “making” you happy you might want to re-think that. There is a vast difference between being happy with your relationship rather than seeking happiness from your relationship. What is important is a sense of safety and trust. This is a condition that’s important for you and your partner to feel.
The question isn’t, “Why aren’t you making me happy” but might be “Why aren’t I happy?”
Seeking happiness from others or from external situations can be a set up. People have moods, their own issues and daily variations. Things happen that can be wonderful but life can also take us for a ride. Seek contentment and “happiness” from within to avoid being on someone else’s rollercoaster.
Reflect on the ways in which you feel good with your partner and the ways in which you feel good with yourself. Sometimes people need help in clarifying the differences between internal and external validation.
I offer individual therapy and couples counseling to help tease out these issues and help people understand healthier ways to be with each other – and with themselves.