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Relationship Minute: Seek happiness from within or from your marriage or relationship?

If you are frustrated because your marriage or relationship isn’t “making” you happy you might want to re-think that.  There is a vast Marin-couples-marriage-counseling-therapy-larkspurdifference between being happy with your relationship rather than seeking happiness from your relationship.  What is important is a sense of safety and trust.  This is a condition that’s important for you and your partner to feel.

The question isn’t, “Why aren’t you making me happy” but might be “Why aren’t I happy?”

Seeking happiness from others or from external situations can be a set up.  People have moods, their own issues and daily variations.  Things happen that can be wonderful but life can also take us for a ride.  Seek contentment and “happiness” from within to avoid being on someone else’s rollercoaster.

Reflect on the ways in which you feel good with your partner and the ways in which you feel good with yourself.  Sometimes people need help in clarifying the differences between internal and external validation.

I offer individual therapy and couples counseling to help tease out these issues and help people understand healthier ways to be with each other – and with themselves.

SCHEDULE A COUPLES COUNSELING APPOINTMENT

SCHEDULE AN INDIVIDUAL THERAPY APPOINTMENT


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Jennine Estes
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I’ve had the pleasure of working with Lisa Kift for many years, both in previous clinics and with mutual clients. Lisa is a deeply knowledgeable and skilled therapist who brings insight, empathy, and clarity to her work. She has a strong focus on family-of-origin dynamics and how early experiences shape current relational and emotional patterns. Lisa is an active and engaged clinician—she doesn’t just sit back, but thoughtfully guides her clients through the healing process. I highly recommend working with Lisa at Marin Therapy and Counseling. She is a trusted colleague and a true asset to the field.
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Heather Trimble profile picture
Heather Trimble
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I am a strong believer in therapy and have worked with many therapists for over 20 years but Lisa is by far the best. After working with Lisa for the past 5 years, she has been there for me through some of my highest highs and lowest lows. She helps me take a step back and think about situations or problems with a different lens. She has always supported a cadence that worked best for me, starting with once a week and winding down to once a month. I am so thankful to have found Lisa and would recommend her to anyone!

Lisa Brookes Kift is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #45087
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