Considering your relationship, think about the countless choice points there are in a single day. We all have those moments where we can choose to act in one way or another, choose to say one thing vs another…
What are you doing with your choice points? Do they support or degrade your relationship? Or perhaps they are neutral. The important thing to keep in mind that those moments take you down one of those three roads.
What are you doing with your choice points?
Couples can get in cycles where they don’t choose very wisely or perhaps they are so activated that their emotions drive the direction. When there is resentment or unexpressed frustration it can be challenging to behave in a relationship enhancing way when you’d rather say:
I help couples remember that they are responsible for how they act with each other. If there is a lot of conflict, sometimes getting really clear on what that’s about (often not what it appears to be) is a good first step, followed by communicating in a way that encourages the other in rather than push them away. At the end of the day, we all want to feel emotionally safe with each other.