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Relationship Minute: You are not your partner.

Because we all look at the world through our own pair of unique eyes, it’s not uncommon to have totally different experiences and perceptions of life.  This is a result of manyRelationship Minute: You are not your partner. things but particularly the totality of our prior experiences.  We learn and assign meaning to things as we go.  The meaning might serve us well and sometimes it might not.

In your relationship, it’s important to remember that your partner is not you.  People can have expectations that the other should view life in the same way they do and often get frustrated if they don’t.

“How could he think like that??”

“How could she not have prioritized that?  Isn’t it clear??”

Those who have worked with me before have heard me say, “Let each other BE.”  Partially what I mean is to allow room and compassion for the way you each see the world.  In my couples therapy practice, I help couples make space for each other in this way.  In some cases, it’s very difficult for people to really let that sink in.  But it’s an important lesson in the health of your relationship.